Despite the conflict I feel around over-crediting male feminists (as I discussed over in my post over at the Hathor feminism site), I must admit that I loved this story on Don McPherson posted at Feminist Allies.
This is a guy who has spent his entire life completely enmeshed in the world of professional sports, probably among the most hypermasculine, aggression-sanctioning, sensitivity-eradicating environments that exist. And he’s not just speaking out against sexism or gender-based violence, he’s even getting at the passive-voice construction use and the ways that our basic discourse serves to reinforce the woman’s role in the dynamic.
I love this quote (emphasis mine):
“We don’t raise boys to be men. We raise boys not to be women or gay men“
It’s interesting to think about the ways this ‘negative-defining’ position contributes to “anxious masculinity”. If all value definitions are based on NOT statements, then any feature that would counter that NOT must be fought and eliminated. If we were constructing solid beings of ‘positive’ stuff, the things that men are wouldn’t be shaken quite so easily.
If this guy were a current Ti-Cat, I may even have been moved so far as an “Oskiouioui” (I did have to look up how the hell one might spell that. I haven’t fully Hamiltonized yet, clearly).
I love this quote (emphasis mine):
“We don’t raise boys to be men. We raise boys not to be women or gay men“
Ye gods. So true. And at the root of so much.
And at the root of so much.
I really think so, and it’s articulating it so succinctly. I want to expand and expound and make it bigger, but it says it all so nicely in so few words.
Damn, that’s a great quote. And so handy for dealing with anxiously masculine guys when you want to convey that you’d be on their side if only they’d figure out it’s the patriarchy, not feminism, that set them up to fall.