Revisited, Again.

Again I hit a point where life made blogging essentially untenable. Again I have come to find that I miss it and want to try to make it work between me and the internet. Again I am likely to fail – whatever that means – though this time I hope to force myself into some kind of a scheduled structure that will motivate production.

My main motivation for this is actually to help siphon some thoughts out of my head and create some space and order for dissertation writing. A lot of my posts are likely to revolve around themes related to said dissertation and language/linguistic anthropology more generally.

I will be posting an updated description of who I am and what this blog is about, because that information has seen some major changes. I thought about starting over with a new blog and a shiny new internet identity, but as I struggled to come up with something, I started skimming these old posts and just felt…at home. So I decided to run with that, and see what happens.

And here we are.

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I miss writing

I faded out of blogging here, and anywhere, basically because I was breaking up with the internet. I continued to read a few people sporadically, but I stopped commenting, stopped participating in forums, stopped reading current events with a mind to what my personal spin on it would be. It was just all feeling so repetitive and routinized, finding yet another representative example of something that manifested the same political or personal outrage I had expressed elsewhere. I can’t remember the last time I read a comment thread or followed the links around a blog war, and when I do, I couldn’t even muster the energy to react, emotionally or intellectually. The spark, I suppose, was gone.

But I miss writing not-for-school, and whatever my intentions may be, I never seem to make the time to do it except when I’m posting it on a blog. So I’ve decided to try to go back to using it as a space for writing, rather than blogging per se. I’ve noticed a pattern among bloggers I continue to read and admire (Lisa, for example, or the absolutely indomitable bfp), which is that while they write on blogs, they don’t lose the message for the medium, as it were.

At one point, blogging allowed me to exercise my intellect, to find space for critical thinking and cultural critique and questioning and consideration when I was no longer in school. As I became a student again, it got more and more challenging to blog in that way, not only because time became more scarce, but because I was using that kind of energy constantly for school. Not to mention the fact that I was learning so much, it felt like whatever I could capture in short, blog-length entries was a woefully inadequate representation of my thought processes and conceptualizations as they had become. Now, what I’m lacking is writing-just-to-write, without a sense of rigid expectations and structures and scrutinized argument.

I miss it, and apparently, on some level, I need it.